


Vespa Ilkay and the Case of the Death-Dealing Disguise

by SweetheartsDie



Series: The Vespa Ilkay Stories [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: F/F, Minor Buddy Aurinko/Vespa, Reverse penumbra AU, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetheartsDie/pseuds/SweetheartsDie
Summary: Ah, good evening Traveler! Welcome to The Penumbra. May I take your coat? You’ve picked an excellent place to spend the night, dear Traveler. The Penumbra is the grandest hotel this side of nowhere. Countless rooms and countless halls. Just look ahead of you. See the doors go on and on… even we aren’t sure how many there are, or what lies behind them.Will you be staying long? Many of our guests do. You’re in good company, Traveler. The Penumbra draws guests from everywhere and everywhen. And all of them have stories to tell. Stories that will excite you, delight you, and maybe even terrify you. Don’t believe me? Well, see for yourself.This guest has been a fixture at The Penumbra for as long as anyone can recall. She’s a detective by the name of “Ilkay,” and she’s just received a very strange message from a very old friend. An ancient curse has supposedly claimed its very first victim. And if the crime scene is to be believed, Detective Ilkay might just be its second. What luck! Sounds like she’s in. Come, Traveler. Come with me into room J12. Vespa Ilkay and the Case of the Death-dealing disguise.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko/Vespa
Series: The Vespa Ilkay Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703707
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Reverse AU where Vespa takes the place of Juno, Buddy takes the place of Peter, and Jet takes the place of Rita. There arw other swaps as well. This AU was created by my friend Em who I love dearly (I'll tag her when i figure out her username)

Hyperion City. Some people say it’s the most beautiful place in the galaxy. The rest of us live here. It’s one of those places that they make postcards about, Hyperion – a hell of a skyline, twinkling lights and neon waves below, and shimmering satellites hanging high above. But here’s the thing about a skyline: it only shows you the outside of things. On the inside... inside, things can get messy.

I was thinking about that messiness a lot, on the day I took the Grim’s Mask case. Probably because I was looking at someone’s insides at the time.

The sound of my intercom snapped me out of my internal monologue, then came the voice of my secretary to snap me even farther out. Great. “Mrs. Vespa? Mrs. Vespa, why are you receiving odd messages?”

On my screen I saw what was supposed to be a glass trophy case, but it was hard to tell with all the blood covering it and the lower half of a human being hanging out one side. But believe it or not, that wasn’t even what made my heart stop when I looked at it. That honor went to the wall behind the case,on which was written, in blood, “YOU’RE NEXT, VESPA ILKAY.” And that’s kind of a problem for me– because as it turns out my name is Vespa Ilkay. I’m a Private Eye. In a town as ugly as this one, cleaning things up is supposed to be my business. But most of the time... most of the time, it just feels like I’m spreading the mess around.

"Boss, I’m receiving another odd message. It’s a call but the readings are acting different" Jet called from his desk in the main office area.

"Who's it from?" I asked, only met with muttering as Jet tried to figure out what was going on. I sighed. "Just put it through already!" The com beeped in my hand and a voice I hadn't heard in years came through.

"Chipper as ever I see, Vespa. It sounds like you treat your secretary about as well as you treat your friends." The voice stated, which was met by Jet muttering in surprise.

"It's alright, Jet. Let her through. It’s just… Cassandra Kanagawa." I sighed. Excuse me: Agent Cassandra Kanagawa, operative for the Dark Matters Special Investigations team. We were friends as kids, but it had been fifteen years since the last time I saw her. In Hyperion City there are only three kinds of people: people who eat, people who get eaten, and people like Cassandra, who are smart enough to leave. I had to admit, the Dark Matters spook suit looked good on her: the sunglasses were the same color as her hair and the same temperature as her eyes.

"What’s with the long face, Cassandra? Regretting not staying away longer? Or maybe you’re just upset that you had to break your streak?" I said, voice bitter.

"Isn’t it possible that I could just be concerned for your safety, Vespa?" She retorted like it was the obvious answer. It wasn't.

"Nope."

"Fair enough. Have you heard of the Death Mask of Grimpotheuthis?" Cassandra asked matter-of-factly. Actually that was the way she always spoke, like the words were being clipped from a script.

"Well, I guess we’re talking about business now, then," I paused, "Hang on, Grim’s Mask? You gotta be kidding me, Cassandra. Don’t tell me Dark Matters goes in for hokey urban legends and ghost stories."

"Until a century ago Dark Matters was a 'hokey urban legend,' Vespa. Forgive us for lending them some professional courtesy." Cassandra snapped.

"Fine. Grim’s Mask, then. Undisturbed Ancient Martian tomb gets discovered over by Olympus Mons during the filming of a Mercury primetime special. Reginald Mercury films his big flashy exposé of the excavation, destroys a few thousand years worth of priceless Ancient Martian artefacts, blah blah, until he opens the burial chamber of an Ancient Martian ruler. He finds a Death Mask there, and the carvings around the Mask say something about who

Caaaaaaaaaaaares." I said, already tired of this case. The sooner it was over the sooner Cassandra would leave me the hell alone just like she’d been doing for the last fifteen years.

"We do, Vespa. And you probably should." Cassandra snapped again. I groaned in response. "The carvings surrounding Grim’s Mask specifically state that, quote, 'Grimpotheuthis has earned eternal rest,' endquote, and that the mask is to be left undisturbed... or else the ghost of Grim will walk again and seek vengeance upon those who disturbed the tomb." Cassandra informed as if I wasn't aware.

"When do we get to the part where the guy has a hook for a hand, Cass? That’s my favorite." I replied, sarcasm leaking through.

"Take this seriously, Vespa. Urban legend or no, all evidence points toward the fact that someone has managed to infiltrate the incredibly sophisticated security system at Mercury Mansion, murder Reginald Mercury, and paint your name on the wall. Your life's on the line here." Cassandra said. She sounded exasperated, as if spending the amount of time she had with me already wore her thin.

"That’s good. I’ve been looking for a nice, low-stakes case." I retorted, tone staying sarcastic. Cassandra sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I thought you might say that."

"Say what?" I asked, faking innocence.

"'Case.' Not everyone looks at a death threat and sees a job opportunity, Vespa. Dark Matters is also willing to offer you protection." She informed and I responded immediately.

"I’ll pass. I’m guessing your 'protection' looks like a new name and a one-room apartment out on some asteroid a billion miles from nowhere."

"Well, regardless, it’s certainly fortunate that you’re willing to take this case. We thought it might be a… conflict of interest to have you on this, but the Mercury family requested you investigate specifically." Cassandra spoke slowly, as if she was waiting for me to explode and the newest information.

"The Mercurys want me there, huh? So that’s the catch. Sorry, Cassandra, you can keep your lousy case. I’ll take death threats all day, but I won’t walk straight into the guillotine." I stated, glaring at the screen.

"Vespa, they were very insistent--" Cassandra tried to argue. I cut her off.

"Insistent! I’ll tell you what I’m insistent about, Cassandra: not getting gutted by a bunch of mobsters with a TV station! Do you know the last thing Reginald said to me?” I snapped.

"No?"

"It was a little hard to hear through the concussion but I think it went something to the tune of, 'If you ever set foot in here again, I’ll kill you'," That seemed to concern Cassandra.

"What in the world did you do to deserve that?"

"Just saved his son, is all. I mean, most of his son. But listen, anyway, that’s not the point. I’m not going back there, Cassandra, so you can just tell Reginald Mercury that Vespa Ilkay’s not gonna be his stooge-" Cassandra cut me off and I looked away from my com to glare holes at the wall.

"I couldn’t tell him that even if I wanted to, Vespa. That corpse in the photograph? That’s Reginald." Now that caught my attention. I looked back at the coms screen and smiled a bit.

"Alright. So it turns out I’m interested."

"You had better be. Either you take this case with our assistance, or you and I start talking about what asteroid you might want to live on. I hear XZ2B-21-Z is very nice, this time of century. It has an excellent view of Pluto." Cassandra said and I could hear the cocky smile in her voice. I groaned. "Don’t throw a tantrum, Vespa. An agent will be arriving shortly to aid your investigation. She can fill you in on the details."

"Oh, boy. This day just gets better." I said sarcastically. As you can probably tell, sarcasm seems to be my default. "I am not being followed around by some jerk in a suit all day, Cassandra."

"Perhaps you can talk her out of the suit, but her assistance is not up for debate. Her name is Agent Amirah Glass. I’ve never met her, but her record is spotless, and she specializes in issues of this variety."

"Murders?" I questioned.

"The occult."

"The what?"

"Goodbye, Vespa. I’ll see you in another fifteen years." Cassandra said and then the line beeped dead.

Vespa Ilkay is a lot of different people, depending on the day. Collector of bad art. Decent cook. Terrible gambler. But here’s one thing she’s not: an exorcist. So I threw on my coat, grabbed my keys, spun the right laser carts into my blaster, and tucked my dagger into its holster on my thigh. Better to be safe than sorry after all, plus I’m better with my dagger anyways. If I could get out quick enough I might have been able to solve this case without ever having to hear about ghosts or bogeymen or whatever Agent mirror, or what it was, was into. Might have been able to if I’d moved a little quicker. There was a knock on the door then a voice lilted through the metal. “Hello? Detective Ilkay, are you in there?” The voice said, a grin evident in their voice... Damn. I opened the window and started to climb through just as the voice, muffled probably from turning away, said to who I assume was Jet said, “Dear, could I ask you…”, They were cut off by the mechanical door sliding open, “Thank you, You are a gem upon Mars, Jet, and twice as lovely.” That was met by some grumbling from my receptionist that sounded vaguely like "I am not a stone Agent." Thank god he wasn’t going to fall for that damn charm the agent seemed to exude. The figure finished grinning to Jet and instead turned to look at me. “Ah, Detective Ilkay. How lovely to meet you at... last…” Their smile turned to more of a smirk as they looked over my position, halfway through the window and looking as guilty as a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar, “Detective, are you trying to crawl out that window?”

“I’d say I was succeeding.” I retorted, giving an uneasy smile. The kind of practiced smile that was known for trying to hide emotions that threatened your task. The agent laughed, even their laugh held charm.

“Well, I heard they do things differently on Mars, but I must admit this is a surprise! You’ll have to show me your customs, Detective. Is there room in that window for two?” The agent asked, head tilted in what could be read as almost genuine curiosity. Almost. Fire red hair and a fox's teeth. She looked alot like a fox actually, like she was happy to see me and like she'd be just as happy to stab me, if push came to shove. It wasn't unpleasant, all things considered.

I sighed and climbed back through the window into my office. "Agent Glass, right?"

"Only to my mother, Detective Ilkay. Call me Amirah, please. Would you mind catching me up on what you know over dinner? Introductions make me peckish." She said, offering me a hand I didn’t shake.

"You can eat in the car. I’m in kind of a rush. Some mummy wants me dead or something." I shrugged, walking past her and heading towards my car.

"It doesn’t sound like that scares you much." She seemed entertained by my answer, following after me.

"Honestly, it doesn’t." I responded.

"Well, perhaps you’ve been poorly informed, then. You see, according to legend, Grimm's ghost takes a sub-corporeal form made primarily of animal bones, serrated brass, and clotted blood, and he tears each of the targets of his vengeance into-" She started to inform me but I cut her off quickly. I’ve had enough lecturing for one day.

"You getting in the car or what?"

"Only teasing, Detective, only teasing. And even if you are torn to shreds by the talons of an undead nightmare, it won’t have been for nothing! This little escapade has gotten me to Mars, and it’s gotten me to you, Vespa Ilkay– and I have to say I’m enjoying both already." She practically purred, giving me a flirty smile as she stepped towards the passenger side of the car. I ducked my head to hide the light dusting of blush that decided to show. Dammit all.

"You sure sound like it,” I hop into the car and shove the key into the ignition, "Ready to go?"

"Oh, Vespa. I’m always ready." She smiled and we were off.


	2. Part Two

Reginald Mercury lived in one of those mansions over Uptown. It's easy to find, especially at night. Just look up for the moon, then look for the bigger moon right next to it. That's the Mercurys. The mansion was heavily-staffed, and I don’t mean there

were a lot of people there. I mean just looking at the biceps of the people guarding the door was enough to make you think about how brittle your bones were. Between muscle and firepower, the staff was armed. Agent Glass piped up as we walked down the halls. “What do they do, anyway? These Mercurys?” I had to pause to look at her in disbelief.

“... You’re kidding.”

“Oh, I know the broad facts. Stars of stream and screen by day, royalty of the criminal underground by night. But that’s all in the textbook. I want to hear what it’s like down on the

ground. Go on, regale me.” She commanded softly.

“You got most of it. But stars and kings... eh. They’ve been losing money steadily for a few years now. Word on the street is that Reginald is... was... making a lot of bad business decisions. Giving to charity, that kind of thing.”

“He’s gone soft, then.”

“Lost his edge, too. As of about a year ago he was taking show ideas from anyone who’d talk to him. That’s why I’m in this mess in the first place.”

“You mean... why the curse chose you? Because you gave Reginald the idea for a show?”

“Alright, last time I was here- sometime after I saved his son and before Reginald kicked my teeth in- he asked me what kind of shows someone like Vespa Ilkay watches. I told him whatever my secretary leaves on. And when he wouldn’t take that for an answer and he still hadn’t paid me, I said, “Y’know what, Reginald? Right now I think I’d pay about ten thousand creds to watch you dig a deep, deep hole, and then bury yourself in it.”

“What’s that have to do with the Mask?”

“That’s how he found the Tomb. After he beat the tar out of me he brought a camera crew to the desert, dug a deep, deep hole, and jumped in... to an undiscovered Martian Tomb, with that dumb Death-Mask inside. Got good ratings, from what I hear. Come on. Crime scene should be just up ahead.”

“Allow me to get that door, Detective.” Amirah said, opening the door for me.

“I can open a door.” I grumbled.

“Forgive me. Chivalry runs in the bloodline. “Show your heart through your deeds,” Mother used to say.” Amirah stated and shut the door behind us. She gasped as soon as she got a good look at the room and beamed, sharp canines glinting dangerously in the low light of the room. She muttered out a quiet, “Incredible!” and walked off to explore the room and what it contained. It was something, that’s for sure. Reginald had been killed in his art gallery, where Grim’s Mask was being kept. And Reginald knew exactly what he liked. Amirah turned to me with an excited grin, “Can you imagine? Hundreds of death masks, vaults, tomb stones, sarcophagi, all staring you down. Perhaps it's where he wanted to die all along.”

“I don't think Reginald expected to die at all.” I muttered, scanning over the room as well.

“And you, Vespa? Where do you imagine yourself dying?” Amirah asked as she examined a mask that hung on the wall.

“In a cold ditch somewhere, just like everybody else.” I retorted.

“Oh, dream a little!”

“Fine. A warm ditch, then.”

“You don't take anything seriously, do you?” Amirah looked at me with an amused smile

“You got a problem with that?”

“No, I think it's admirable. Standing up against the big, mean world and laughing.” Her voice almost sounded mocking but it wasn’t.

“Don’t really feel like laughing now. This place gives me the creeps.”

“I thought you said you didn’t believe in curses.”

“This isn’t about Grim’s stupid mask, Glass. Someone in this mansion wants me dead.”

“Not dead, technically speaking. The literature suggests that the walking ghost of Grim keeps one’s consciousness alive in a state of semi-eternal torment-” 

“The literature can suggest whatever it wants, Glass, but there are no goddamn ghosts!”

“Vespa. Ilkay.” A deep voice boomed. “You’re Next. Vespa. Ilkay.”

“Incredible!” Amirah shouted. The doors rattled but didn’t open behind us.

“Uh oh.”

“Turn around, Vespa Ilkay. Your time has come, Vespa Ilkay. Raise your hands, Vespa Ilkay, or I will strike you down where you stand”

“Perhaps... you had better do as the specter asks, Vespa. He might shave a few years off your eternity for good behavior.” Agent Glass whispered, looking towards me.

I muttered a quiet, “Shut up!” to Amirah before raising my hands and calling out, “Fine, they’re up, they’re up. Mind coming out so I can see the ghost that’s gonna chat me to death?”

“Silence! Now, repeat after me. I, Vespa Ilkay, forfeit my soul to the great Grimpotheuthis”, The voice demanded. I sighed and repeated after. “And I really wish I had checked in with my old friends more before I died.” I repeat after that as well, though my suspicions rose. I could hear Amirah muttering to herself.

“Unresolved regret… My this is fascinating” She muttered, smiling that damned fox smile.

“And I also regret this haircut, because, wow, I look absolutely horrible” The voice boomed. Bingo. I groaned out of frustration and put his hands down. Damn Mercurys.

“Knock it off!”

“Say iiiiiiiiiiit” The voice responded.

“Sasha, I know it’s you! Get out here already you absolute pain!” I shouted. She laughed, the effect on her voice draining away.

“You never could take a joke, could you, Vespa?” Sasha said through the speakers. Sasha Mercury, formerly known as Sasha Wire before her mother had married them into the Mercury family, had a style all her own- according to her lawyers, that is. There were a few hundred small-town rock stars serrated teeth that might’ve claimed she’d stolen their look, but according to Martian copyright law and a few million in bribes it was all legally distinct... and more importantly, it was very popular. Her style screamed ‘my dad has enough money to buy you a one way ticket into the sun but I would be more than happy to just kick your teeth in instead’. I liked Sasha. She was a lot of fun. But I kept reminding myself about that theft anyway, because you can’t trust a businessperson in Hyperion City... especially if you like them. Sasha sauntered into the room, grinning like she owned the entire world. To be fair her step-father did almost own all of Mars in one way or another. “I figured you’d be shaking in your ten-cred shoes, so I thought I’d give you the warm Mercury welcome.” She said, grin turning almost welcoming. “Who’s Miss Sunglasses over here?”

Amirah smiled and bowed, taking Sasha's hand and kissing her knuckles. “My name is Agent Amirah Glass, Ms. Mercury. It’s an honor to meet you.” That seemed to shock Sasha and she pulled her hand away.

“Yeah? Wish I could say the same.” Sasha said then looked to me, “ Gwenivere told me you were on the way.”

“Gwenivere?” The agent asked me quietly.

“Their stepmother.” I responded, glancing to Amirah before I looked back at Sasha, “Where is Gwenivere, anyway? Expected to get a warm Mercury welcome from her, to be honest”

Sasha shrugged, “Death of a family comes with a lot of prep, Vespa. Meetings with the actuary, the funeral director, the writers. Gotta figure out how we’re gonna spin this into a three hour long special after all. Milk the old man for everything he’s worth. It;s what he would’ve wanted.”

“You always were sentimental, Sasha. You mind leading us to the crime scene, already?” I said, shoving my hands into my trenchcoat pockets. The room was giving me the creeps, alright? All those masks and gravestones would give anyone creeps.

“Aw, what’s the rush? It’s not like Dad’s going anywhere.” Sasha said, already turning to a big door off to the side of the room. There was suddenly banging and mechanical noises from behind the wall.

“Damn it, Sasha, cut it out with the bumps-in-the-night, already.” I snapped, glaring daggers at her.

“Sorry, wasn’t me. All bumped out.” Sasha shrugged again.

“It sounded like it came from that... tomb.” Amirah said slowly, pointing towards the door Sasha had been heading for.

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Glass, this is a gallery, not a graveyard. There’s no way Reginald fit a tomb in here.”

“Don’t be stupid, Vespa, of course he did. What do you call that?” Sasha said, pointing to the door.

“That thing? That’s just a... giant, terrifying stone door with the words “Rest in Peace” carved into it. Is all.” I said, staring at the door in a very mild bit of awe. It was impressive in the mildly horrifying kind of way. There was a sudden monstrous groan and I yelped. 

Sasha laughed. “You always were jumpy.” She commented.

“You aren’t even a little bit worried about that noise?” I asked, dusting off my coat in attempts to seem calm.

Oh, no, Vespa. Of course I am. I bet it’s just a bunch of ghosts, all in a pile, making big spooky ghost faces! Boo!” Sasha laughed again and walked towards the door, motioning for us to follow, “Come on, the noise can wait. Let’s go.”

Amirah stepped in front of me, cocky smile playing at her lips, not that I was paying attention to them or anything. “Allow me to get that door,” She opened the door and bowed dramatically, “After you.”

“Y’know, Glass, it was barely cute the first time, so don’t-”, I said to her, walking through the door into what seemed to be an office of sorts. Probably not the only office in the mansion. As soon as we were all inside Agent Glass looked like a kid in a candy shop, grinning enthusiastically. 

“Incredible!” She said, rushing off to investigate… Whatever she was supposed to be investigating. It still wasn’t clear to me what she was doing following me but I wasn’t one to argue with Dark Matters, at least when arguing meant being stuck on some rock in the middle of nowhere under some protection program.

“I’m not that big a fan of it, either. ‘You’re next, Vespa Ilkay…’ You usually get my fan mail on your wall, Sasha?” I said, glaring at the writing with disgust. The blood was dried by now, starting to crack and fall away.

“Don’t remind me. Curses and ghosts and whatever... too creepy.” Sasha said, shivering a bit at what I could assume were her thoughts.

“Mmm, yes, ‘creepy.’ Ms. Mercury, do you mind if we conduct our investigation now? I’m afraid you’ll have to step back from the body so that Detective Ilkay can examine it.” Agent Glass piped up, looking at me expectantly. I just looked confused. “You are the Detective, Detective. You aren’t afraid of a little blood, are you?” She teased. Really, it was “a lot of blood” that was the problem- it looked like someone popped a balloon full of pasta bolognese in that damn case. But Glass wasn’t budging, so I took a deep breath and stuck my head inside. There was something on Reginald’s face, but it didn't look like any kind of mask I'd ever seen. It was more like a big bronze folding chair crumpled up where his head was supposed to be. If there was a face crammed in there, it probably didn't look much like a face anymore.

“Find anything interesting?” Sasha said, her voice muffled by the glass around me.

“Just a plot summary of all my nightmares for the next year.” I responded, pulling my head out so I could look at her and not the mess inside the case.

Amirah grinned and walked over, high heels clacking against the floor. “You haven’t even seen the best part. Step aside, please.” She poked her head into the case along with her hands. There was the sound of clanging metal and then  _ something _ dripping. I assumed it was blood and felt a bit nauseous. Suddenly the mask snapped open like an accordion. Whatever

wore it would've looked like it had three little masks across three little heads, each with too many eyes and noses and other things to count. As for Reginald... well, the thing had tried to split his one big head into three small ones, and succeeded. “Amazing, isn’t it? One can only imagine what the Ancient Martians’ skeletal structure was like, if they could split in this way…”

I cut her off. “If you don’t shut up about that right now, me and my breakfast are gonna contaminate this crime scene.” Sasha muttered something about how her father would kill me if I ruined his precious case and I retorted quickly. “Don’t know if you’ve noticed, Sasha, but I don’t think this case could get any messier.” I stated, looking at the case.

“All that? That’ll come right out. This thing’s supposed to get blood on it.” Sasha commented casually.

I opened my mouth to comment but I was cut off. Rude. “She’s referring to the locks, I believe. Look here, Vespa- a set of two DNA-key locks, set to open only if the right genetic sample is placed within them. Only the people with the correct DNA signatures could open this case. Unhackable, otherwise.” Amirah said.

“So, let me get this straight: anytime Reginald wanted to take his Mask out to play, he had to cut his hand open and bleed all over both locks?” I questioned, disbelief in my voice. That had to have the dumbest plan for a lock that I had ever heard.

“Not both, moron. Dad wanted to make sure this thing was completely thief-proof, so he got two that have to be opened simultaneously. The left one was set to his DNA. The right was set to Mick’s... and mine.” Sasha said. Interesting. I looked at her and she sneered, “You keep looking at me like that and I’m gonna knock your eyes right out of your skull, Ilkay.”

“Like what? This is how I look at all my friends who’ve got a fifty-fifty shot at being murderers.” Sasha looked moments from snapping my neck but Agent Glass caught her attention before she had the thought to.

“Ms. Mercury, would it interrupt any of your family’s plans for mourning if I were to remove the Mask? I have some readings I’d like to run on it.” She spoke formally, as she had been the whole time but she almost sounded giddy now, eager to get her hands on the mask. Sasha paused for a moment and nodded mutely, still glaring at me. 

“Say hi to Reginald for me.” I commented, though I whispered, “And, uh... thanks, Glass.”, when she passed by. She paused and smiled to me.

“Anytime.” She muttered then walked off, probably to grab the mask out of its prison of glass and blood.

I cleared my throat, albeit awkwardly, and looked back at Sasha. “Gotta admit, it’s weird seeing Reginald in there. Knew they’d call me in to investigate him one day, but I always

thought he’d be the killer, not the victim.” I laughed a bit at my own comment but it sounded like lead in the tense room. Jesus Christ Ilkay, learn to read a room.

“Don’t count him out yet. Dad found a way to cheat everyone he ever met. Death’s got its work cut out for it.” Sasha muttered in response. The room got even more tense after that, the only real sounds coming from Glass investigating and muttering in awe to herself.

“If you don’t mind my saying, Sasha, you don’t sound all that upset the old man’s dead. He cheat you recently?” I asked rather bluntly. No reason for niceties during an investigation, things are just easier that way. 

Sasha sniffled weakly and shook her head. “No. No, he didn’t, actually. It’s just... this is a lot easier if I pretend he did.” Glass said something else about the mask from across the room and I sighed, rolling my eyes. Does she ever shut up? Probably not in actuality

After a few more moments of awkward silence I asked, “So, what were you looking for when we first came in here?” Sasha whipped her head up to look at me.

“What are you talking about?” She asked as if she’d actually been surprised by the question.

“Come on, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. When you stepped in through the door the first thing you did was look behind that plant. Not that hard to find Reginald. He’s right in front of my love-letter on the wall over there. So, you were looking for something, what was it?” I asked again, force starting to seep through the words though it was cut off by more of Glass's oral observation updates.

“Just one good push... that’s all it would take. With one good push, the Mask could swallow its victim whole-” The observation caught my attention but I still was done with the constant noise.

“Amirah! Kind of in the middle of an interrogation over here!” I snapped, though it didn’t hold much heat, as much as I wish it had.

Glass looked at me with a sheepish smile and ducked her head. “Oh! Apologies, Detective! I’ll just... bring the Mask over here, then!” She said quickly then scurried off to somewhere.

Sasha crossed her arms, looking at me with something that could only be described as disappointment mixed with mild annoyance. “Interrogation, huh? You haven’t changed a bit.” She spat, sounding disgusted.

I shrugged. “Just trying to lay it all out on the table for you, Sasha. You can lie to me as much as you want, but I’m gonna figure it all out eventually, and it’s not gonna look good for ya

if you start fibbing.”

Sasha: “The hell happened to you, Vespa? You used to be... I don’t know, fun.”

Vespa: “You and I might’ve called it fun, Sasha, but my liver had a slightly different interpretation. Look, I’m not saying you killed him. But I am saying you’d better start talking if you wanna persuade me otherwise.”

Sasha sighed, “Look, what if I had one of those... those lullaby things?”

I cocked my head a bit at that.“I hope you mean ‘alibi,’ Sasha, cuz I’m not really in the mood for a nap.”

“Yeah, that. I was out all night last night, with my bodyguards and driver. The car has a time-stamped camera feed, too. Here, I’ll bring it up on my comms.” True to her word she pulled up a feed on her phone and showed it to me. The footage looked alright. Sasha Mercury, lounging in a stretch limo with half-a-dozen bodyguards and room enough for a dozen more. She flipped forward two hours, and the stream showed her drinking in a bar with her chauffeur; another two hours, and she was shouting down some poor cashier; another two, and she was back in the limo. It was an alibi airtight enough to suffocate in. “That about clear me?”

“The way I operate, Sasha, not even I’m cleared until this case is closed. You think Mick has an alibi like this?”

“Mick was here all night. Gwenivere grounded him.” Sasha said as if it was the most obvious thing on Mars. Maybe it was, I didn’t know.

“Grounded? Isn’t he, like, thirty?”

“That says a lot about either Mick or Gwenivere, Vespa. I’ll let you pick which.”

“I’m pretty sure Mick’s televised himself killing a guy before, Sasha. What’s it take to get grounded in the Mercury household?” Now this was an interesting bit of gossip.

“Mick’s been blowing through money like it’s for sale, Vespa. He got the collectors’ bug real bad.”

“For, like, holo-stamps or something?”

“Old torture devices, actually. Gwenivere keeps making him sell

them all back, but he’s grounded until he can control his wallet. Poor kid’s not gonna see the light of day until he’s ready to retire.” Sasha joked.

“Well, that’s some good news, anyway. Always thought the world’d be safer with Mick locked up.” I paused, still looking at the feed, “What were you doing last night, Sasha? You look pretty upset at that cashier.”

“Shopping around for interstellar haulers, if you gotta know.” She crossed her arms like I had somehow personally offended her.

“A spaceship? This doesn’t have anything to do with that big dream of yours, does it?” I asked, remembering a conversation years in the past. She seemed shocked by the question and smiled ever so slightly, the real kind of smile.

“You... remembered?” She asked softly, smile growing wider.

“Sounded like a hell of a show.” I responded and smiled back, gotta play up the charm after all. Her smile fell slightly but it recovered. 

“It isn’t gonna be a show. Mick has shows. Dad has shows. This is gonna be art, you moron. Documentaries across every habitable planet in the galaxy! A project so big nobody’s

ever even tried it before! I’m gonna show everyone-” I cut her off, I’d heard this all before.

“...Show everyone how people really live. Show them there are places out there that aren’t like this city. Show them how many ways people have figured out how to be people.” I said, having this lecture memorized from the multiple times I had heard it from here. “Last you told me your dad wasn’t going to let you do it. Said it’d never make any money.”

Sasha sighed quietly and noddedIt still probably won’t. But... he changed his mind. I guess. We had enough in the budget for one new show, so Mick and I were each going to pitch one. Mick’s was good, too. Would’ve more than made up for all his stupid torture machines. But... Dad could tell how much this meant to me. He told me… he told me I could…” Sasha took a shaky breath and looked down at the ground, starting to shake a bit, “I think I’m done talking now, Vespa.”

“Fair enough. Just one last question..”.

“Do you not get what “done talking” means?: She snapped. I just kept talking.

“What were you looking for in here?”

“I don’t need to answer that. You have my alibi. That’s enough.” I gave her a suspicious look and she sighed, “Trust me, Vespa. There are some mysteries you don’t want to solve. Some things... some things are just personal.”

“Maybe. Why not tell me what you were looking for,then we can discuss which category this falls under?”

“If you want to know, you’ll have to get a warrant. And a brace for those broken ribs.” Sasha growled. I opened my mouth to ask her what broken ribs and then she kicked me square in the chest. Sasha had always been a fan of platform boots, ever since I met her. She was the tallest out of all of us, taller than Mick by an inch flat-footed and towering over me no matter what. She was older than Mick too, he had always hated that about her. The thing about platform boots, and the reason why I tend to wear them too, is simple. They hurt when you kick. I fell onto my back with a groan. “Those broken ribs. Later, Vespa. Good luck with the whole death-curse thing.” She started to walk away and I sat up. It fucking hurt. I groaned again and fell back onto my back again.

“Hey, wait a second! At least tell me where we’re supposed to find Mick!” I called after her. She kept walking away though she paused for just a moment in the doorway.

“He’s probably in that creepy workshop of his,” Sasha responded, “Through the creepy tomb doors in Dad’s collection. Have fun in there. Just make sure Mick’s big machines don’t get you first. After all there's a monster on the loose.” She laughed as she left.

“Wow, I hate this family. Amirah? You find anything over there?” I asked, standing and walking over to her. Amirah looked up.

“Oh? Did Sasha leave? It’s a pity; I wanted to ask her about these doors.” Amirah said, standing and dusting of her pants. “Come along. Shall we continue on, Vespa?”

“You’re sure there’s nothing else over there? That was pretty quick.” I asked, trying to look over his shoulder though she was too tall.

“In training they taught us that your chances of solving a murder plummet seven hours after death, Detective. We have to keep moving.”

“Back in the HCPD they always said twenty-four hours.” I argued.

“Well, that certainly explains a lot about the Martian crime rate, I’d say. Shall we?”

“Sure, Amirah. Whatever you say.”


	3. Part Three

I dragged my heels on the way back to that creepy tomb door. I had something big on my mind, for one thing... but more pressingly, I really didn’t want to know what torture-machines or ancient ghosts or goddamn dinosaurs were lurking back there making that- The roar sounded followed by clicking- noise.

“Well, the inside of this doesn’t look like an abandoned tomb so much as an abandoned spaceship.” Glass said, stepping in carefully.

“You sound disappointed.” I grumbled.

“Not at all. Some of the strongest paranormal activities have taken place in sunken ships. Space-pirates’ curses and alien specters…” Amirah trailed off and I assumed she had figured the rest of that thought on her own

“You don’t really buy all that stuff, do you?”

“I believe in things bigger than us. In things outside of our comprehension. The universe is full of mysteries, Vespa: where we go when we die, why some objects seem to bring luck or misery wherever they go... what strange force causes two strangers to become... closer.” Glass smirked, looking at me with a look that only meant one thing. I ducked my head to hide the embarrassed look.

“No mystery to that last one, Amirah.” I laughed a bit awkwardly, “I hear you can buy it by the bottle so long as you have a valid form of ID on you.”

“What has you so cranky?” Glass asked, almost exasperated. I smiled just a bit at that, at least she would get tired of me soon enough.

“I hear there’s a name for it, but I’ve never asked. Psychiatrists give me the creeps.” I responded with a shrug. Glass just gave be a look and I gave in. “Look, the last time I did a case for the Mercurys, I… messed up, okay? I did something really stupid, and they’ve wanted to get me for it ever since.”

“Which was?” Glass prompted.

“Yeah, no. Not getting into that.”

“You’re worried that this is a trap, then.” Glass said rather of matter-of-factly, pushing up her sunglasses.

“Thought that was pretty clear”

“Well, allow me to alleviate those fears, Detective: it is definitely a trap.”

“Hey, would'ya look at that! My fears just up and disappeared! That’s incredible, Glass, really amazing Secret-Agent-stuff.” And back to sarcasm we go.

“It’s rather simple. Sasha was far too willing to allow me to tamper with the crime scene; Gwenivere has invited you into her home and sent her daughter to you but she, herself, is

nowhere to be found; absolutely everyone has been leading us here, to this hallway, with those horrible noises-” She was cut off by the aforementioned roar followed by the mysterious clicking, “... case in point. It seems absolutely certain that they all want us to come here, to where Mick is... the only question is why.”

“Or if they even have the same reasons”, The roar came again and it sounded louder. I looked to Amirah, “That sound like it’s getting closer to you?” The roar came once again, even louder, and I started to panic. I looked around for anyone to hide out from whatever was trying to kill us but found nothing. ”Damn it, there’s nowhere to hide!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Now, if I recall correctly…” Amirah said calmly, tapping her hand along the wall. I opened my mouth to say something snarky but suddenly there was a click and a door in the wall opened. There was a much louder roar and Amirah pulled me into the door by my wrist, shutting the door behind us.

After a few moments of awkward silence I spoke up quietly, “Hey, Glass? Mind telling me where the hell this secret door came from? You got a top-secret classified door-making gadget hidden in that coat of yours?”

“No, no, those aren’t available until the clearance level above mine. But a good Agent never goes into a job unprepared, and when I read about the Mercurys’ reputation I took the precaution of memorizing the floor plan to their mansion.” She responded, straightening and re-straightening the cuffs of her pristine button up. Must be a nervous tick.

“Y’don’t say.” I muttered.

“You can tell a lot about the denizens of a building from its floor plan. Houses are much like the people within them: all hold secrets, twists and turns…” She was once again cut by the roaring and clicking.

"... And giant screaming monsters, apparently." I filled in for her, "It sounds like it’s right outside. What the hell are we gonna do about this thing?"

"Oh, nothing at all." She responded, rather nonchalantly for the current situation.

"That’s... not what I expected." She just shrugged.

"If we open this door, it will find us and likely kill us. If it opens this door, the very same. This may be difficult for an Investigator to swallow, but there are some things one should not Investigate."

"You’re not the first person today to tell me that."

"So, given all that, there’s nothing to be done but wait, hope that we don’t die, and hope even more that the creature leaves some evidence or ectoplasm behind to examine. And in the meantime... I’m much more interested in you."

"That makes one of us." I grumbled.

"You’ve just implied that everyone has a monster lurking in the halls of their mind. If we’re going to rely on each other in this haunted mansion, is it so strange that I would be interested in what shapes your demons take?"

"I’m a little more concerned about the shape of the demon that wants me dead, honestly."

"You have a very interesting name. Vespa. Vespa. The earth language Italians word for wasp, elegant yet strong creatures, known for their mean-streak as defenders of their homes. Do you have a mean streak, Detective?"

"Nope. How about Amirah? Does that mean anything?"

"Look at me, Vespa."

"I... am...?"

She stepped closer and I was backed into the wall of the storage closet. "No, no. Look at me. Really look. Now tell me. What do you think Amirah means?"

"Right now I’m thinking it’s someone who took Psych 101 a little too seriously."

She laughed a bit and stepped back to her original spot. "Very close. It means queen or ruler, Vespa, in a language dead ten thousand years. I take my name as a creed to live by. Control your name... and you control yourself."

"It’s a pretty thought, Amirah. Wish it were that simple…" I paused, mumbling to myself, "Wasp huh? Dad was always calling me a pest, guess I picked a good one then."

"What was that?"

"We’ve wasted enough time already. That thing hasn’t made any noises in a while; maybe it found somebody else to eat." I opened the door and looked around the hall. "Looks like the coast’s clear. Let’s go." I stepped out into the hallway and there way a series of quiet clicking noises, like a camera zooming in or pictures being taken. Amirah stepped out quietly behind me.

“Vespa... I do want to apologize. I hope you haven’t taken too much offense-" I cut her off.

"Shut it!"

"I can tell you’re upset, Detective, but ‘shushing’ me seems entirely unnecessary-"

"Just shut up! Don’t you hear that?"

"Hear…" The clicking got louder and we could hear the sound of a motor whirring. "What in the world is that? It sounds so... familiar"

"It might be…" I looked up and cursed my luck, "Camera Men." Glass gave me a confused look. “Amirah. I need you to do two things for me. First: look above us. Slowly.” I whispered. For once she listened to me, looking above us slowly.

“...Detective? Is that a man with a camera for a head hanging from the ceiling?” She asked quietly, not taking her eyes off the Camera Man above us.

“By a broad definition, yeah.” I replied, already planning an escape route.

“And what’s the second thing you wanted me to do?” She asked, looking back to me. There was a roar and the sound of the Camera Man’s lens clicking.

“Run!” I shouted, already bolting down the hallway with Glass quick in tow. The Camera Man dropped down from the ceiling behind us and gave chase

“What is that thing?” Glass asked, sounding panicked.

“It’s a Camera Man! One of Mick’s goddamn genetic engineering experiments! Mix up a DNA cocktail from all the biggest, fastest, meanest climbers in the animal kingdom, then replace its hands with grappling hooks and its head with the best cybernetic video camera money can buy! Mick uses them to film his shows mostly!”

“You’ve seen these before and you didn’t recognize that noise?” Just then there was another roar from the Camera Man. Good timing. “Thank you, yes, but the demonstration is not necessary!” She shouted back at the Camera Man.

“This looks like a new model! They didn’t have quite so many arms the last time I saw them!” I retorted and the Camera Man roared, gaining on us.

“It’s gaining!” Glass shouted.

“Yeah, I can see that, thanks! Maybe think about coming up with an idea instead of shouting status updates like a goddamn-” I was cut off when I tripped, my forehead colliding with the hall floor. I groaned and sat up slowly, blood dripping down my face from the newest gash in my forehead. Amirah kneeled at my side to help me up and the Camera Man stopped a few feet away, its lense shuttering as it growled.

“It’s... stopped…” Glass said slowly, helping me up while still watching the Camera Man. I dusted myself off.

“Very courteous. I’ll just run face first into a few more floors and maybe it’ll start going backwards.” I growled. The Camera Man sniffed the air and came closer, causing us to step back.

“It’s moving again…” Glass alerted me. I opened my mouth to snap at her for continuing to give obvious information but she just kept talking. “What in the world? Vespa... Why didn’t the Camera Man drop onto us immediately when you discovered it? We looked up at it and it wasn’t until we started running that it followed. Perhaps it doesn’t want to catch us.” The Camera Man lunged for us and collided with a wall, causing us to scurry a feet away lengthening the space between us and the monster.

“Funny way of showing it. But that’s not a bad point, Amirah. If it wanted to catch us, drag us off to wherever Mick wants us... why didn’t it just get us then? Or when I fell?” I questioned out loud, though they were mostly rhetorical questions. 

“Perhaps it... was enjoying the show?” Amirah said, clearing joking but she was right.

“The show! That’s it!” I shouted. The Camera Man roared and I whipped around to face Glass. “Quick, Amirah! Hit me!”

“What?” She sounded morally outraged at the idea. 

“Damn it, do I gotta do everything myself?” I punched myself in the stomach, hard enough I lost my breath and doubled over though Amirah helped at least keep me standing. The Camera Man paused where it stood, lense shuttering as it had done before.

“That was... Well, I suppose that was good television.” Amirah muttered as the Camera Man growled again.

“Good television’s what it wants. Now you hit me. Quickly.” She hit my square in the chest and I let out a weak grunt. Agent Glass was stronger than she looked in the sleek suit, I could only imagine what she looked like underneath it. I smiled a bit at the thought, looking over at her, smile turning wild. “Come on, are you kidding me? That was nothing! Hit me!” She hit me in the stomach, hard enough to wind me and I laughed through the pain. The one perk of being a masochist is that you can get enjoyment out of all sorts of pain, it just helps when that pain happens to be caused by a rather pretty woman. She hit me again in the chest and we were rewarded with the sound of more camera shutters. “Alright... Hit me again and move closer to the door.”

“Are you sure you shouldn’t hit me-” She argued.

“Just do it!” I shouted and she hit me again. I staggered closer to the door and she followed, the Camera Man shuttering its lense from where it stood. She hit me one last time and I ripped open the door. The Camera Man roared and I slammed the door behind Amirah, panting for breath I knew wouldn’t come quite yet. 

“Well, that was... exhilarating.” Amirah muttered between pants for breath.

“Glad you enjoyed it. I’m gonna go sit down now.” I stated, staggering in the dark until I found a chair to sit in. From the sound of it Amirah sat down in a chair behind me.

“This mansion is certainly full of surprises.” Amirah muttered, laughing softly. She had a pretty laugh.

“Can we just... be quiet for a second? Please?” I panted out, the exhaustion of the injuries and adrenaline crash hitting me like a freight train.

“... Of course.” Amirah paused for a moment. ”I wonder where we are now. It’s so dark in here, but from the sound of it the room is very large. And these chairs are very strange, aren’t they? Such an odd design. Why, from the look of it they appear to be… Oh dear.”

I groaned. “What now?”

“Didn’t Sasha say... that Mick had been collecting ancient torture devices?” I hummed in questioning affirmation, “Because... well, I don’t know how to break this to you Detective, but these chairs appear to be…” There was a click and wrist cuffs appeared on the arms of the chair, locking us in. The bright LED lights turned on above us with a click and a drumroll blasted through the hidden speakers.

“What the fuck!” 

“Ladies, gentlemen, and everything between and beyond, humans from across the limits of age and space!” I cursed under my breath as the voice continued, “Tonight! For your entertainment and viewing pleasures: A Private Eye and a Special Agent, two experts in the art of quick escape will attempt a deadly feat on air for all of you to view! They’ve avoided the beast of the halls, they’ve avoided my step-mother, but can they avoid a death at the hands of The Throne of Spinning Blades!” The blades revved above our heads for dramatic effect. "Brought to you by the Mercury Corporation, this is… Mick Mercury’s From the Jaws of Death!" He grinned and put down his mic, looking to me,"Hello there, Veve, Remember me?" Did I remember Mick Mercury? Of course I did. Because if, like Agent Glass says, everyone’s mind is like a building with monsters inside, let’s call Micks mind a demons’ apartment complex, with room after room of narcissism and sadism and all the -isms that should have guaranteed him alot of professional help. Instead, it got him the most popular entertainment network on Mars. Agent Glass was saying something behind me but I couldn’t hear her over Mick shouting, “Camera Men! It’s showtime!” In the light of the room I could see them now, half-a-dozen Camera Men clambering up onto all of those nightmare sets in Mick’s playground of spikes and blades and brand logos. All their lenses were trained on us.

“Vespa, I asked you if you had a plan!” Agent Glass snapped.

“Just one: bust out of here, and then bust Mick in his stupid face.” I retorted.

“Very helpful. And until then?”

“Only one thing to do, Amirah: smile for the camera…”


	4. Part Four

A galaxy of bulbs hot as tiny suns surrounded us. In the distance: half-a-dozen Camera Men, their lenses flashing, their hulking, mutated chests heaving as they clung to a forest of torture racks and adamantium maidens and laser guillotines. From the look of it, though, the most dangerous thing in the room was the one I was tied to: The Throne of Spinning Blades, which was set to Spinning Blade us into a thousand tiny pieces. Just your typical wholesome family entertainment in Hyperion City. The man trying to indirectly kill me was Mick Mercury, the puppet behind primetime stream blockbusters like “Classic Gangland Hits, Demonstrated” and “These Are Your Nightmares” and “Coliseum 2: We Gave the Lion a Gun And You Won’t Believe What Happens Next.” Mick was the natural conclusion when you gave a mad scientist a spotlight and a near-unlimited budget. Actually, that’s not quite fair. Mick wasn’t mad. He was worse than that: he was excitable. Like giving a puppy a knife and saying go wild, that's a better descriptor of Mick. “Make sure to look at the cameras or we might have to do a second take. Recording a pilot live is an idiots game. You never know what might go wrong.” Mick said as he messed with the rope on my wrists, then moving to Glass, probably assuring we couldn't get away.

“Ah, I see! Then you’re filming ahead of time just in case one of us is hurt during this game?” Glass asked, hope evident in her voice. I was hoping she was smart enough to figure that answer out on her own, apparently I was wrong. Mick laughed.

“No, no, no. I’m filming it just in case one of you isn’t hurt!” Mick exclaimed.

“Mick, you’re not exactly helping your case by locking us up like this! This whole stupid setup is halfway to a confession and you know it!” I shouted, tugging uselessly at the rope. Don’t judge me, you always check.

“Oh? A confession of what, Veve? I enjoy chaining my friends to dangerous torture devices for the enjoyment all stream viewers because I’m sorry Veve but also everyone knows that one.”

“You know what I mean! You were grounded here last night, you were the only one here last night that could open the case to his stupid Mask, and we both know you have it against me enough to smear my name in blood all over the wall. You had the motive, the means, and the ten tons of pure, uncut crazy to kill-” Mick cut me off.

“You sure do talk alot huh Vee? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I like your agent friend, much more cooperative. Maybe I’ll keep her around after you go.” He said, smiling at me. I hate that smile, then again I hate it when most people smile, it normally means they have a plan on how to kill me and surprisingly enough I don’t want to die. “Well, ladies, it’s just about time to start the show. Good luck. And remember: we’re making people smile out there. Warms your heart just thinking about it, huh?”

“Damn it, Mick! I saved your life, and this is how you thank me?” I shouted, pulling at my restraints once again.

“You did. And you even gave me a reason to get this cool arm! I’m thanking you the only way I know how: I’m making you a star, Veve!” Mick shouted as he walked away, words dissolving into laughing until it was finally cut off by the sound of Mick disappearing behind a door.

I settled into my chair and sighed, “Well. We’re probably dead.”

“Speak for yourself, Detective. Mick said he wanted to keep me around.” Glass responded.

“He didn’t mean alive.” I snapped. Glass paused for a moment before she responded.

“ ...Well. That changes things now doesn’t it” She muttered. The person I was trapped with was Amirah Glass, Special Agent with Dark Matters. She’d been assigned to help me with the Reginald Mercury murder case for two reasons: first, because of some stupid story about a curse on the Mask that killed Reginald; and second, because whoever killed Reginald had promised to come for me next. So far Glass’s mission had been a smashing success. We were tied back-to-back in two torture chairs after finding out that Mick was probably the murderer, which meant that, A, he’d disproved the curse, and B, I wasn’t going to be the second victim because the blades on Glass’s chair looked sharper than mine. Definitely third, though. Suddenly Micks voice boomed throughout the room.

“Places, Camera Men! Filming begins in one minute!” Mick yelled into the intercom system, causing it to squeal. Like I said, he’s like an excitable puppy with a knife. Glass bumped my arm with her elbow to get my attention.

“Vespa, would you mind shifting slightly? I would rather the cameras didn’t catch my face.” She muttered, quiet enough that it wouldn’t be caught by the microphones.

“I’m not exactly thrilled about it either, Amirah. Clients aren’t going to be thrilled about a Private Eye made public.” I muttered in response. 

“How do you think Dark Matters would feel about a Secret Agent who can’t stay a Secret?” Glass snapped.

“Look, if you want to keep your face hidden that badly, we’ve just got to stop Cecil from uploading the footage. Take down the Camera Men-” Glass cut me off.

“Or, better yet, take care of that transmitter in his bionic arm.” She suggested and I smiled. Maybe she did have a good head on those pretty shoulders after all.

“Now you’re talkin’. Only question is how the hell we’re going to do that.” I asked.

“Do you have a blaster on you?” Glass asked and I shook my dear, then remembered she couldn’t see me.

“No, but I got one off me. It’s over by the door; the straps on the chair cut my holster before the Camera Men dragged us over.”

“Well, then, I suppose we’ll just have to get creative, won’t we?” The show's beginning music began to play and I cringed internally. I could hear confused muttering coming from Amirah. “Get out the popcorn, Agent. The show’s about to start.”

“Welcome back, viewers! This is From the Jaws of Death, and I am your host, Mick Mercury! But of course, who doesn’t know me?” The laugh-track played, though it was distorted through the speakers, “Now, let’s meet our contestants! In chair number one: Amirah Glass! She’s a Special Agent with Dark Matters... but our talented team of researchers couldn’t find anything else on her! Can this lady who appeared without a trace vanish without one, too?” I hummed.

“Impressive, Glass. No record at all?” I asked, quiet so the microphone wouldn’t catch it.

“Of course not. Dark Matters scrubs them for you.” She responded, just as quiet.

“And in chair number two: Vespa Ilkay, Private Eye. Detective Ilkay has lost just about everything a person can lose: her career, her friends, and even her own dad! I can’t imagine where I would be without mine.” The laugh-track played again. “Now, here are the rules for tonight's game: Detective Ilkay and Agent Glass are chained, back-to-back, in the Throne of Spinning Blades. This classic piece dates back to the Fascist Renaissance of the twenty-fifth century, friends, and the Detective and the Agent better watch out: those blades are made of genuine venom-brass, and boy, are they sharp! Our contestants will have five minutes to escape before the Spinning Blades drop onto them... but there is a twist! The chain that binds them together is also affixed to a gear in the Throne’s bladeworks. Should they pull too hard, they will hear this noise...", A click sounded from above us then came the sound of a revving motor, “... and the blades above them will descend, inch by fatal inch! So don’t struggle too much, ladies: this could be a hell of a haircut!” Mick laughed along with the laugh-track. “Well contestants? Are you ready to escape from the Jaws of Death! Starting now!” A bright red timer displayed on a screen across the room, counting down the seconds to what seemed to be our inevitable deaths.

“People on Mars really take their entertainment seriously, don’t they? What spectacle!” Amirah said, laughter in her voice.

“Well, cooperate and maybe you’ll live to catch the rerun. Got any plans?”

“Pulling on the chain is a non-starter, I’m afraid. We’ll have to cut it.”

“Hold on, I think I might have something for that.” When you get chained up as often as I do, you eventually learn to prepare. My prep was cheaper than most: didn't cost any more than a spool of thread, the sleeve of my coat, and a ten-cred plasma-blade box cutter. I untied the threads in my sleeve and pulled the cutter out. Amirah tried to crane her neck to see my hands.

“What is that? I can’t see.”

“Doesn’t matter. Just stay still.” She tried to speak again but I hissed to get her to be quiet. The plasma hummed softly in my hand. I twisted it in my fingers slowly. A single twitch and that thing would be down by our feet, and then we'd be six feet under that. I pushed the blade against the chain. The chain just jangled and I cursed.

“Careful where you put that, Vespa.” Amirah muttered.

“Careful as I can be.” I responded. I didn't mention that I couldn’t look at the cutter, the chains, or either of our hands. Maybe I should've. She might've been more ready. The blade bumped her hand and burned it. She jerked and the blades above us descended an inch. Son of a bitch. When she jerked the cutter fell to the floor, out of my reach.

Mick laughed from his platform. “Our first yank of the chain! Come on now, ladies, you aren’t going to end the show that quickly, are you?” The boo track played.

“Oh, shut up! You’re the reason there’s nothing good on TV anymore!” I yelled.

“You know there’s no actual crowd here, don’t you, Vespa? Can you reach that cutter you just dropped?” Amirah asked.

“Sure, if you don’t mind wearing that blender above us for a hat.” I quipped, smiling. That was pretty clever.

“Well, I’d rather not do this, but... check my back pockets. They're too far from my hands for me to reach, but… you're back there. Just be careful. Who knows what you'll find?” She tried to joke. Glass wasn't kidding. She kept more per pound in those pockets than most kangaroos. Pens, keys, cards, tablets… I winced when something pricked my finger.

“Damn, do you keep broken glass in your pockets? Something just pricked me.” I grumbled, searching some more.

“Only two minutes remain! What do you say, viewers? Should we make this a little more... interesting?” Mick called into the empty seats. The cheer track played and he laughed, “That’s what I’m saying! Camera Men! Go and give that chain a tug!” A Camera Man reached over and yanked the chain, the blades falling another inch. I kept looking through Glass’s pockets. A toothbrush, a dozen loose breath mints. I found it between half a sandwich and the other half of the sandwich: a heavy-duty plasma cutter. Not exactly the kind they hand out to civilians. I grinned, pressing it to the chain, getting a satisfying sizzle as it burned through the chain. “While we wait to see it in action, here are a few interesting facts about the Throne of Spinning Blades was invented in the year 2432 by Doctor Gustav Hopperman, the Throne was originally intended as a response to the guillotine, which Hopperman called, “an overly clean device.” Mick laughed, “Isn’t that just ridiculous? Gotta say though, this one is way more fun!” He kept talking as I cut through the chains. Finally they snapped. “...I’m sure Hopperman would be delighted to see these two...escape from my device?! How?!”

“Go!” I shouted as we both stood, Camera Man stepping closer with every second. “Amirah, you any good with a knife?”

“Yes, but…” I kicked her my plasma cutter from the floor. She untied her hands before picking it up.

“Take this one, then. I’ll go for my gun.”, I nodded towards the area where my blaster laid useless at the moment while she cut the rope binding my wrists. I handed her the other plasma cutter.

“But how? Those things are in the way!”

“So long as you take one, I can figure out the other. Come on, big guy! I’m ready for my closeup!” I grinned. Two Camera Men came barreling towards us, all bulging muscles and twitching lenses. One of them headed for Amirah, but he didn’t last long: just one flick of the wrist and Glass had carved the mutant a clean set of gills. I didn’t mind the look of blood, but I tended not to look at it for my sanity . Luckily, ape number two loved the stuff... which meant he was too distracted to look at me. I grabbed the gorilla by the shoulders and flung him into the throne. “You look a little tired, buddy, why don’t you have a seat?” I kicked him hard in the chest to keep him from getting up. “Amirah! Pull the chain!” I shouted.

“Gladly!” She grinned and pulled the chain hard. The blades clicked and descended. The sounds of blood spurting and the Camera Mans roars filled the room.

“No! Camera Men, get them, seize them!” Mick yelled before running off through a side door.

“Vespa, Mick is getting away!” Glass yelled, carving another Camera Man's neck wide open.

“We’ll deal with him in a second. Hold the Camera Men back while I go for my gun!” My blaster was across the room, on the other side of a herd of Brazen Bulls. I got to it quickly but, looking at the monster clinging to the wall, I apparently wasn’t the only one who had that idea. “Hey there, Camera Man. Looking to take a few good shots?” I shot it twice in the lens and it fell dead. “Well, that’s too bad. I take the only shots that count.”

“Vespa! Some assistance, please!” Amirah shouted. I looked over to see her caged in by three Camera Men.

“Duck!” I fired three times, each shot finding its way into each of the lenses. Amirah stood and dusted herself off.

“Well, that was... really something. A laser straight through each of their lenses!” She seemed genuinely impressed and I had to fight back a blush. 

“Yeah, I’m amazing, you’ve never seen anything like me, I’ve heard it all before. You’re welcome. Now we just have to destroy whatever footage Mick has backed up on that arm of his.”

“He just ran into that grove of Pear-of-Anguish Trees. Keep your blaster ready; there’s no telling what kinds of tricks he has planned in there.” She said and we rushed towards the door. I should’ve known what kinds of tricks he had planned in there, actually. I’d dealt with Mick’s tricks before. And that meant as soon as I saw the camera hanging from the first tree in that forest I should’ve known that Mick would be behind the second tree. The camera shuttered and Mick popped out into our path, grinning like a mad-man.

“Surprise, Agent! Let’s see you keep this a secret!” He shouted. The sound of metal sliding against metal sounded and a line of nasty-looking titanium spikes were sticking out from Mick’s bionic fist- and those spikes were headed straight for Amirah’s head. I pushed Glass out of the way and raised my arm. I always was a good catch. The spikes went straight through my forearm and I grunted to keep from screaming. Mick tried to yank out his fist but it wouldn’t budge.

“Damn you, Veve! My hand is stuck!” He shouted, jerking some more.

“How do you think I feel about it? Oh, wait: this is how.” I punched him hard in the diaphragm, knocking out his breath. I punched Mick for a while. It was pretty great. Then, after about a dozen auditions as my speed bag, the idiot finally hit the floor... and his claw passed out of my arm. Amirah gave a sick smirk and pressed a heeled boot against his throat causing him to choke.

“Well, it appears your show has been canceled, Mr. Mercury.” She pressed down harder causing him to choke more. “And unless you’d like me to press my foot down a little harder on your just impossibly thick throat, you’re going to cooperate while Detective Ilkay takes care of your recording operation. Vespa?” I laughed weakly and shot the drive in his arm, causing it to glitch weakly and power off. Amirah nodded and stepped away.

“My arm! You have no idea how much that cost, you-” I cut him off.

“Oh, shut it. I didn’t destroy your arm. I just blasted its data drive.”

“Well... could you? It would bump up the ratings through the roof then-” I cut him off again.

“Enough showbiz talk, Mick. Your dad’s dead. You did it. Just confess already, and then tell me where you keep the painkillers.” I grumbled the last part, clutching my arm to try to keep it from bleeding anymore. Mick sat up quickly as if shocked.

“What was that about Dad?” He asked, voice low.

“Your father is dead, Mick. You... did know that, didn’t you?” Amirah stated, voice edged with caution.

“...Dad is dead?” He asked again, voice breaking as if he was about to cry. “When did it happen? Where? What was it? It was his heart, wasn’t it? He forgot his damn medicine.” Mick muttered, shocked.

“Detective Ilkay and I are here to investigate the murder of your father, Mick. Why did you think we were here?”

“I thought Veve wanted to be on my show!”

“Oh, give me a goddamn break. You wanted revenge and we both know it.” I growled, the edges of my vision starting to sport black spots.

“Revenge? Never! Veve, you’re my closest friend! Well, second-closest, after… Well after my dad.”

“Nope, no goddamn way. The last time I was on one of your shows you lost your arm! And I had to save your damn ass!”

“Yeah! And the ratings were awesome! Alright, I admit, designing a show with the idea that I had been kidnapped by mobsters was not very safe. And it wasn’t a great idea to hire real mobsters- But! Veve, you were a star! If it wasn’t for the stupid privacy clause you would’ve been on every billboard in Hyperion! People would be lining up to shake your hand! So when Gwenivere told me that you and Agent Glass were coming, I thought that-”

“Gwenivere? Your stepmother? But... if she told you that, then she knew-” Amirah started but I cut her off.

“Shh, Glass. Don’t spill it all just yet.” I muttered as Mick kept talking. She nodded.

“She came in this morning with some scheduling papers. I asked her to sign them for me, since she can do our signatures well enough for it to look real. I didn’t think it was important.” Mick muttered, 

“Alright, Mick. Let’s say you really didn’t know. Let’s say you didn’t kill Reginald. There’s a lot of evidence that doesn’t line up if that’s the case. Like, well, the case. The one your dad kept the mask in.”

“What about it?”

“It was open. And you and your dad were the only ones here who could’ve opened it last night. How do you explain that?”

“What? I couldn’t have opened that case last night. I wasn’t even in the mansion.” 

“Nice try, but we’ve got footage on you. Records say you’re grounded and you’re not on any of the security footage entering or leaving the mansion last night.”

“Oh, the footage! It’s rigged Veve! I wouldn’t trust footage around here, don’t know who tampered with it” Mick laughed as both me and Glass gave him a confused look. “You saw Sasha leave the mansion, didn’t you? Thought you saw, I should say. That footage is old. Sasha rigged the footage for me so it looked like her leaving when it was really me, she just loops the feed or something like that. She’s been doing it for years!” Mick grinned and pulled up a video on his comms… a video of him leaving. The timestamp on the feed placed it exactly when Croesus had died, to the second.

“That’s... you?”

“Pretty convincing, isn’t it?”

“So... Sasha was here last night. And she could’ve opened the case.” I muttered, voice quiet and slurred. The black spots were starting to get worse. Glass must have noticed because she put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“... Vespa? Are you alright?” I shrugged her hand off my shoulder.

“Shouldn’t be too surprised, I guess. Things were almost looking up for a minute there though.”

“I... suppose so. Should I... call the HCPD for Mick, now?”

“Don’t bother. We probably signed a liability agreement on our way in through the door. Isn’t that right, Mick?”

“Of course you did, this is the Mercury household after all” Mick said, sitting up. I turned away and started to walk away from him.

“Let’s just go, Amirah. I’m so sick of this family I feel like I’m gonna pass out.”

“That... may be the blood loss talking, Vespa.” Glass said softly, taking my arm as if to guide me. This time I didn’t shrug her away, the touch was nice.

“Huh. Yeah, kind of a lot of blood, isn’t there.” I responded, laughing quietly as I looked at the holes in my arm. Amirah laughed softly too.

“Let’s take care of that first. Sasha can wait dear.”

I barely made it two steps out of that creepy hallway when my legs decided it just wasn’t worth it anymore. Luckily, Amirah got to me before the floor did. My knees buckled and I fell against her like a lead weight. She caught me with a gasp, helping me down to the floor, leaning against the wall.

“Whoa! Careful, Vespa. Are you alright?” Glass asked, sounding worried.

“I’m doing fine. How’re you?” I responded, taking in the warmth of her hand on my cheek, checking over my face.

“Why don’t you sit for a minute, Detective? I’ll look for a first aid kit. Just don’t move, understand?” I commanded, standing. I gave a loose thumbs up in response.

“Couldn’t if I wanted to, Amirah. Hey, anybody ever tell you you gotta nice smell? What’s lady gotta eat to smell like that?”

“It’s... perfume, Detective.”

“Huh. Never tried eating perfume before... Have fun with your first aid kit.” My vision sat still long enough for me to watch Amirah leave. Then I got on my comms, made a quick call, and waited. There was a lead I needed to follow up on after all. About a minute later I got the call back. My comms beeped in my hand and I answered. “Took you longer than I expected.”

“My apologies Vespa, it took longer than expected. It is not everyday that you ask me to look for something like this, maybe every other day but-” I cut him off.

“Jet, I’ve got no time and even less blood. What is it?” I hissed.

“Pretty much exactly what you thought. You said you found it underneath a door handle?”

“I didn’t find it there, but that’s where it was. Thank you Jet”

“You are welcome Vespa.” Then Jet hung up. I sighed and tucked my comms back into my pocket. I saw Glass coming back down the hallway and waved weakly.

“Are you alright, Vespa? It sounded like you were talking to yourself.” She said, kneeling down next to me and sorting through a medical kit.

“Just calling my secretary. Making sure my will’s in order.”

“You won’t be dying here today, Detective. Doctor Glass has everything she needs for a successful operation. Stitches, disinfectant, hacksaw, bionic arm…” She laughed towards the end and I smiled, immediately training my face back into a neutral expression. “What’s the matter, Vespa? You’ve never played doctor before?”

“Not really in the mood for games, Amirah. You gonna patch me up or what?” I growled.

“Testy, testy…” She continued to dig through the medical kit, laying out various things as she went. “So, Detective, What do you make of this case?”

“Well, she’s the only one who could’ve opened the case. She was here last night. She lied about it. Yeah, it all looks pretty open and shut, doesn’t it.

“You don’t sound satisfied with that answer.”

“I’m not. There’s something else going on here. At least one something. Damn it, I just gotta figure out-” Amirah put her hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of the downward spiral.

“Don’t exert yourself. We still have time.” She poured disinfectant onto a cloth and carefully washed over my wounds. Once she was satisfied with her work she set the cloth down and picked up a small hand-held machine. I winced and she made a small noise of sympathy. “Now, hold still. The stitches come next.” I braced and she pressed the machine to my arm, turning it on. I grunted as I felt the needle push through my flesh. “Shh, shh. Almost there... and... done.” Glass pulled away again with a triumphant smile. I glanced down at my arm. Where there had once been ragged holes were four neat lines of stitches.

“Wow. That was... fast.” I muttered, awe evident in my voice.

“I’m a lady of many talents, Vespa.” Glass aid with a smile, repacking the medical kit.

“I... bet you are. Hey, uh, Amirah? Where are you going... after this case, I mean?”

“Dark Matters never keeps me in one place for very long, I’m afraid. As soon as the curse on Grim’s Mask has been disproven I’ll be off on the interstellar breeze, after some other imaginary spirit on some other planet. Why do you ask? That wasn’t an invitation, was it?” A smirk played at her lips as she caught my gaze and I looked away rapidly.

“Don’t read too much into it.” I grumbled.

“Oh, don’t get cranky, Detective. We still have this case, after all. Who knows what we’ll tangle ourselves up in, before the day is done?”

“Y-yeah. Still have a few leads to follow.”

“Gwenivere, for example. She seems to be the name on everyone’s lips today, doesn’t she? And yet she’s nowhere to be found.”

“Right. Something’s going on there.”

“Do you think she killed Reginald, dear Detective?”

“No. Big messy death like that... not her style. She’s Reginald’s second wife, and there’s good money on the theory that she opened that position herself. She wouldn’t do something as messy as this.”

“Then what could she be up to?”

“I don’t know. So we’ve got to find her, ask her a few questions, and so long as we’ve got time on our side we’ll get to the bottom of it. Right, Agent?” Glass nodded. “Good. Yeah, I think we will. I think we wi-” I was cut off by a muffle scream for help. We both whipped our heads to look in the direction the noise came from.

“What in the world?” Amirah asked, standing. I pushed myself up until I could stand with a grunt.

“It came from the Mask’s display room. Come on! And get your knife ready!” I shouted. We took off running towards the room, the voice still screaming for help. I yanked the door open in time to hear Sasha speak.

“Where the hell is it, Gwenivere? I know you have it!” Sasha yelled, blaster held out and pointed at Gwenivere’s head.

“Sasha, I have no idea what you’re talking-” Gwenivere was cut off by the door shutting behind Glass and I. Sounded like she was the one yelling for help. The both looked over at us and Sasha growled.

“Vespa! God damn it, you have the worst timing!”


	5. Part Five

“So long as we have time,” I’d said. Why the hell did I have to open my mouth? Sasha stood by the Mask’s case, gun in her hand and wildfire in her eyes. Pissed enough to do something dangerous. Scared enough to do something stupid. Closer by: Gwenivere Mercury, the shadow behind the Mercury empire, looking cold and smart and scared, but not nearly scared enough. Only Gwenivere could still look like she ran the world with a trillion volts of laser fire pointed right between her eyes. I wasn’t so calm. All I could see was that message on the wall, written in blood: “YOU’RE NEXT, VESPA ILKAY.” With Sasha waving that gun around, I couldn’t help but think… Maybe it’d come true after all.

“Detective Ilkay! It’s lovely to see you again.” Gwenivere said, fake pleasantness obvious in her voice.

“Gwenivere” I responded, eyes trained on Sasha.

“How do you do, Mrs. Mercury. I’m Special Agent Amirah Glass, with Dark Matters-” Glass was cut off when Sasha snapped.

“Vespa. You mind teaching your pet agent over there how to read a room?”

“Maybe save the schmoozing until after we stop a murder.” I gave a teasing look and Amirah gave an apologetic smile. “Sasha, put down the gun. This doesn’t end anywhere good and you know it.”

“Do I, Vespa? Do I? Because I remember a string of stream specials between the ages of 15 and 25 that suggest I’ve got real bad impulse control, and I think I’m feeling a relapse coming on.”

“Isn’t that just the way with children? You can bring a horse to a therapist, but you can’t make her take her antidepressants.” Gwenivere commented under her breath.

“Shut up! All of you!” Sasha yelled, aiming the gun at me. Fuck. I looked to Glass and she mouthed something to me. “Hey! You two are gonna knock whatever the hell that is off right now, alright? And hands up, both of you!” I put my hands up and Amirah followed my lead. “Alright, Agent Glass. Unless you want to be able to see the wall through Vespa’s forehead, you’re gonna go over to my mother and check her pockets, bag, everything.” I opened my mouth the talk and I heard the safety on her blaster click off. “Did I ask you to talk? Has anyone ever asked you to talk? No? Shut up.” Glass nodded and quickly walked over to Gwenivere, muttering a quiet apology to her as she searched. “You’re looking for a piece of paper, Agent. You’ll know it from my step-father’s signature at the bottom and a lot of broken promises above that.”

“What promises, Sasha?” I asked. There was a flash of light and something shattered behind me.

“There. Do you believe I’m serious now?” Sasha growled.

“Nope, but that vase back there sure does. How much did that vase cost anyways? 8 million creds?” 

“You’re just asking for it, you know that? I should do Mars a favor and plug a laser bolt through your stupid skull right now.”

“You should.”

“Don’t test me.”

“Not that hard a test, Sasha. You either shoot me or you don’t.”

“You smug little-!” Her finger slid onto the trigger and I braced for the shot.

“Sasha, I’ve completed my search of your mother's belongings. But…” Amirah trailed off.

“But what? Give me the papers, already!” She held out her hand impatiently.

“There are no papers, Ms. Mercury. Gwenivere had nothing in her bag besides a prescription for anti hallucinogens... made out to you.” Sasha looked shocked, lowering the hand that had her blaster.

“Oh, I know this comes as a bit of a shock, Cassandra. I’m so sorry. But your doctor and I discussed it and she thought that these would suit you, and so after your next appointment-” Sasha raised the blaster again, fire even wilder in her eyes as she aimed at Gwenivere again.

“I do not hallucinate! I’m clean, god damn it! I’ve been clean for years! I saw those papers in here. I know you have them. Nobody else could have taken them.”

“What papers?” I asked.

“If you ask one more goddamn question, Vespa-”

“You’re not going to shoot anybody, Sasha. I know that about you because I know you aren’t a murderer. Some people got it in them. You sure as hell don’t.”

“You’re... this is a trick, isn’t it? Another Vespa Ilkay original. You think you’re real funny, don’t you?” Sasha growled, glaring daggers in my direction.

“I don’t joke, Sasha. The universe does it for me.”

“Alright, clown. Put on the red nose and let’s talk. Tell me what happened last night. If I like your answer, maybe I’ll let you go. Hell, maybe I’ll let everyone go.” 

“Mind if I confer with the Agent for a second? I’m going to need a specialist in horror shows to sort this one out-”

“Y’know, I think I do mind. I think I mind a whole lot. And so long as I got this gun in my hand, everyone minds what I mind. Got it?”

“You had better listen to her, Vespa. One never knows what Sasha will break when she gets like this.” Gwenivere stated. I looked to Glass, and her eyes were waiting for me. They said a lot, those two dark eyes: “was I sure?” they wanted to know. And who could blame her? I wanted to know, too. But this was the way it had to go, and she saw that in me, and she nodded. Effortlessly. Like trusting me was the easiest thing there was. Wish I had that much faith in me. Feels like you could fix the whole damn galaxy, with someone looking at you that way.

“You two gonna stop batting eyelashes anytime soon? I’m ready for your story, Ilkay. Tell it.”

“Alright, Sasha. If you say so. Those papers... they’re what you were in here looking for earlier, aren’t they? Something you must’ve dropped in here last night... like a schedule for the next season of Mercury programs. You seemed pretty upset with Reginald when I saw you this morning. You pulled back eventually, but at first you seemed pretty burned.”

“He cheated me, sure. But he cheated everyone. And hey, genius Detective, I wasn’t here last night, remember?”

“You were, actually. Mick told us about your little video trick. Very smart by the way. Had some video evidence to that effect, too.”

“Oh, come on. You don’t believe that little snake, do you?” Sasha sounded exasperated.

“In the house of the Mercurys I don’t believe anyone, Sasha. If he didn’t have that camera feed he’d be in handcuffs right now.”

“I thought you said I wasn’t a killer, Vespa. Was that just another trick?” Sasha was shaking, now, with rage or regret or some other feeling too dark to imagine. I didn’t like doing this to her, but I needed to. With her vision shaking so much, she couldn’t see Amirah slinking out of her periphery, and then closer and closer, inch by inch. “Answer me, damn it!” She demanded.

“I know you aren’t a killer, Sasha. You’ve threatened every single person in this room with that gun by now, but you haven’t even gotten close to firing it.” I stated, watching Amirah. She gave me a look and I nodded. Amirah tackled Sasha to the ground, knocking the gun out of her hand.

“Vespa! The gun!” Glass yelled. I rushed forward and grabbed it in time to see Sasha finally give in. She stopped struggling, glaring at me and spitting curses.

“I should’ve known. You tricked me, Vespa. Goddamn it, you’re just like him. You cheat everyone, don’t you?” Sasha growled.

“I didn’t lie. I don’t think you’re a killer. I think it was a mistake.”

“A mistake? Does it count as a mistake if you don’t regret it, Vespa? Does it?” I heard a gasp from my left.

“Now Sasha! You don’t mean that!” Gwenivere said, looking shocked. I could tell it was fake. Any emotion she showed was faked, trained and processed.

“For once I’m gonna agree with Gwenivere, Sasha. I don’t think you do mean it. You wanna tell me what happened?”

“I told you. He lied to me. I saw it. He promised me he’d give it to me and then... and then…”

“Your show, you mean. He gave the slot to Mick.”

“Yeah, my show. What the hell else? The moron left a schedule for next season on my set, and there it was, “From the Jaws of Death,” a Mick Mercury joint. That cheat. I knew I’d never be able to have a conversation with him in daylight, with all those cameras around. So I had to wait. Then I heard him, bumming around with his stupid tombstone collection in the middle of the night. So I came to confront him.” Gwenivere opened her mouth to interrupt and I just glared at her. “I had the schedule on me. I brought it in here and I waved it around in his face, asked him what the hell his promises were worth. But he didn’t care! He just kept shouting about that goddamn case of his with its goddamn defective locks-”

“Its what?” I asked.

“‘How’d you open it without me,’ ‘what were you trying to do with my mask,’ and that was just like him, wasn’t it?”

“Sasha, stop, hang on for a second-” I tried to say but she kept talking.

“- Crying about his stupid toys when he’d cheated me, he’d cheated me out of my life, and I just got so mad, I… I didn’t know... I didn’t know the case was open behind him. I didn’t look. But honestly, I’m not sure I cared. I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.So I pushed him. He fell into the case. I watched the Mask close around his face, and then... it ripped him apart. And all this creepy stuff, the message on the wall, I… I didn’t do it, Vespa. I mean, I don’t think I did. But I didn’t mean to push him, either, not really, and now every time I close my eyes all I see is that Mask... ripping him… apart.” Sasha went quiet, obviously lost in a storm of emotions. Suddenly there were camera flashes and I whipped around to look for the source. A Mercury worker was next to Gwenivere, camera held in their hands, lens trained on Sasha.

“Did you get all that?” Gwenivere asked.

“Got it all on tape, Mrs. Mercury.” The worker confirmed. Gwenivere nodded.

“Good. Gentlemen, I think it’s time to take my daughter away now.” Two burly men came over and helped Sasha up. She looked at me in a panic, eyes wide and breath catching in her throat.

“Vespa... what did I do?” She asked me. She was led away before I could answer her. Instead I answered myself.

“You can’t blame a puppet for moving when the strings get pulled, Sasha. Only question is how many of us here are strung.” The door opened again and another Mercury worker poked their head through the doorway.

“Let’s go Ms. Mercury” The worker said. Gwenivere nodded and the worker disappeared.

“Well. A patriarch gone, a daughter behind bars... this is very sad day for the Mercury family. How unfortunate.” Gwenivere said. I snorted and gave a bitter laugh. Amirah gave me a shocked look as she stood up, dusting herself off. 

“Wow, Gwenivere, you really love to lay it on thick, don’t you?” I said, poison evident in my tone.

“I have no idea what you mean.” She said.

“There are just two things about this case that still don’t sit right with me, Amirah. That schedule... that’s the first one. Where the hell did it go?” I stated.

“That’s assuming there was ever a schedule to begin with… which I highly doubt. Hallucinations, Detective; delusions. Our psychiatric professionals will get right on it.” Gwenivere said, sounding distant.

“Your shrinks. That must be where she’s headed, then.”

“I’m not sure I follow-” Amirah piped in.

“Hoosegow. The local lock-up owned and operated by Reginald… Sorry. By Gwenivere Mercury. There are cameras everywhere in Hoosegow, Glass. It’s for security, they say. But… hey, who owns that footage, Gwenivere?”

“Mick, technically. It’s for his shows.” Gwenivere stated.

“Mick owns the footage. So if someone owns Mick... It’s funny about that contract. Funny how a paper with Reginald’s signature on it goes missing. And it must be hard for you, Gwenivere, but if you take the long view of it, you’re doing alright, aren’t you? Reginald had been leaking your profits for years-” Amirah gave me another scalding look. “You were gonna be down Mick’s blockbuster and up Sashas dud. But now... You’ve got a special on the starlet who killed her father. You’ve got a show about her rotting away in jail. And you still have her step-brother to milk for all he’s worth. That sound about right, Gwenivere? Theoretically, I mean. I almost had you figured out. I was this close. But you probably know that already, Gwenivere. After all, you’ve been steering us around ever since we got here.”

“Absurd. I haven’t even seen you until ten minutes ago.”

“You didn’t need to. You knew exactly how to lead me around. Hey, Glass. You know what’s the surest way to get Vespa Ilkay to come over to your place?”

“An... invitation?” She said, confusion obvious. It almost made me smile.

“A death threat. So you must’ve painted that one on the wall, there. You knew I’d head straight for the crime scene. You knew I’d head straight for Mick. You knew I’d beat him.”

“You sound very angry, Vespa. But I would have you ask yourself one simple question: if all of your reasoning is the true– which, again, you cannot prove– and you really are as predictable as you say, who, precisely, should you be angry with?” I didn’t respond. “I thought as much. The door is behind you, ladies.” With that she started to walk away.

“We’re taking the Mask to the PI Registry, Gwenivere. If there’s one hair, one clue that puts you here-” I called after her. She stopped in her tracks though she didn’t turn back to look at me.

“There won’t be, but you two lovely ladies are free to spend your evening as you please. Just know that if you do decide to undergo that investigation, I’d recommend you stay clear of dark alleys for a while. Some members of the Mercury family don’t take well to those who hurt their own.”

“Then I’d watch your back if I was you, Gwenivere. You’re not going to keep getting away with this forever.”

“Tell yourself whatever you’d like, Vespa. Goodbye, now.” With that she was gone.

We dropped by my office and put the Mask in my safe. The PI Registry was closed for the night, but that wouldn’t have been enough to keep me away... if Amirah hadn’t said something. It was raining and she had my coat wrapped tightly around her body.

“It’s so cold, Vespa. I’d hate to wait out here all night until the Registry opens. You...wouldn’t want to show me someplace warmer, would you?” She said. Something tinted her voice, something almost seductive then again that’s how she sounds all the time. I gestured around us with my free arm.

“Take a look around, Amirah. Everything in this district is closed this time of night.” I responded.

“I didn’t mean a restaurant.” Amirah said as if it was yet again one of her statements that was obvious, though it clearly wasn’t. So I... uh... brought her back to my place. Amirah smiled faintly as we entered the quiet apartment, the only sounds being our footsteps and the clock on the wall ticking faintly. “Well, all’s well that ends well, right Vespa? Admittedly we’ll need to broaden our definition of well, but...” I didn’t respond, pouring us both a glass of whiskey. The way Amirahs shoulders were slumped told me she could use the drink. “Oh, you aren’t going to be silent all evening, are you? Your overbearing misanthropy may be part of your charm, but this is a bit much.” She mused, the overly confident smile shining as I handed her the glass.

“Not really in the mood to celebrate, Glass.” I muttered in retort, downing my drink and going to pour myself another one. Amirah made a small sound of disappointment and sighed.

“Oh, come now Vespa. You aren’t going to spend your evening with me sobbing into your drink, are you?”

“Never been much of a sobber. I’m more of a ‘catch your reflection in the bottom of the glass and feel sick’ kind of lady.” Amirah was quiet for awhile before she spoke again.

“...You’ve done nothing wrong, you know. She did still kill her step-father. It’s over. We all survived, if you don’t count my poor hand. My wound still throbs when it rains, you brute,” She giggled and my stomach did flips that only served to make me nauseous , “Only... I was wondering. In Kanagawa’s office, you said there were two things bothering you, but you only mentioned one. What was the other?” Once again I didn’t respond, just pouring myself yet another glass of whiskey.

“Refill?”

Amirah laughed and her smile turned dangerous. I could feel my heart beating against my rib cage and I couldn’t tell if it was fear or infatuation plaguing my senses. “So that’s how it is, is it? You know... You’re very stunning when you’re like this.”

“Getting drunker by the second?” I joked, though it fell flat.

Amirah stood from her spot on my couch, stepping closer. “Morally outraged. Look at her... standing up against the big, mean world... It’s so... futile, and foolish, and... Cute.” She gave a grin, like a cat who got the cream, or better yet a wolf who had caught their prey. There was a long moment of silence between us, Amirah watching my every move as she slowly walked over to me until there were mere inches between us. She really did smell nice, like flowers and whiskey and something from far away I couldn’t recognize. I looked down at my glass, refusing eye contact knowing one look from her and I would be entranced again. My heart jumped into my throat and I felt like gasping for air.

“You... You don’t have to go, Amirah.” I said sparing a glance up at her. Amirah giggled and her smile took a soft edge. I looked away.

“See? This is exactly what I mean. Cute.”

“Listen to me. You don’t have to do this. You know that, right?” Two finger gently pressed up chin up until I was face to face with the agent, barely any breathing room between us.

“Oh, but of course I do. The galaxy is much bigger than the two of us, Vespa. My work, my life... I belong out there. I have to leave, despite how much I hate to. But life can wait one night, Vespa. Come here.” Suddenly her hands were on my lapels and we kissed. Lips like silk, tasting only slightly of strawberries from her lipgloss. Strong hands, pulling on my coat. It was the kind of kiss that feels like it’s going to last the rest of your life... until it’s over, and you know you got as much as you deserved. Amirah pulled away but didn’t go far. My heart clenched in pain and I braved a smile.

“Amirah…”

“Vespa”

I took a breath. “Has anyone ever told you…”, The handcuffs clicked shut around her wrists and she jerked back, surprise only showing momentarily, “That you’re under arrest?”

Amirah laughed and took a few steps back, “Oh Vespa! Normally not until after dinner, but…”

“I mean it, Glass. Or... whoever the hell you are.” I snarled. She seemed to back down then, sitting back down on the couch looking perplexed.

“ I take it from your tone that this is not another layer to the role-play. Fine, I’ll play along. Under arrest for what exactly?” She asked.

“The attempted theft of the Mask of Grimpotheuthis.” I snapped, she gave no reaction. “.And for stealing the keys to my safe straight out of my pocket.” Amirah laughed.

“Yes, well, that does sound familiar. At least about stealing your keys” She was calm, which only fueled the annoyance burning in my chest.

“You want to know what the second thing bothering me was? It was the Mask’s case. According to Sasha it was open before she ever got there... and you had just the tool to open it,” I pulled the small syringe from my coat pocket and held it up to the light, “Hidden glass syringes, tucked underneath the Mercurys’ doorknobs. That’s why you kept insisting on opening the doors. I saw you pull this one from the door in the Mask’s room when I was talking to Sasha. I started getting worried when you pretended not to know what it was. So I took it from your pocket when you sent me after your plasma cutter.”

“I knew I’d regret letting you root around in there. But I couldn’t resist. Desperate times called for desperate measures” Amirah said with a shrug.

“So I took a picture of the thing, and asked Jet to look into it for me. A hidden needle- small enough to leave a prick and take a drop of blood without anyone noticing. The perfect way to collect DNA samples... and to open the Mask’s case.”

“Oh, is this the part where the Detective tells us all how she solved the crime? Go ahead, Vespa. I’m enjoying myself immensely.” She grinned. I ignored her commentary.

“Sasha said it was open before she ever got there. That’s... that’s how I knew for sure. But you didn’t take the Mask then, which means you must have been interrupted. You opened the case... and right then, Reginald came along.”

“I had to make good my escape, and quickly– the security is so tight in that mansion! So many cameras! You have no idea how long it took me to memorize the floor plan to ensure that my face would never be seen-” I cut her off.

“Who are you really?”

“A name? Is that what you’re after, Detective? Oh, well, a name would make things simpler, of course. A signifier to your senses, a sound that means a smell, a feeling, a taste…”

“Just answer the damn question Glass.” I snarled.

“But,” She paused as if considering something, “I’m afraid I don’t tell anyone my name. It would take someone very special for me to tell it now.”

“I knew it was you. You know that? I knew something was up with you- but I thought you’d... So is Cassandra in on it too, then? You two working together?” 

“Who? Oh, do you mean Dark Matters? No no, Vespa. They told you the truth. The truth as they knew it, at any rate. I do answer to the name Amirah Glass- for the moment at least” 

“You got into Dark Matters? On your own?” 

“Not alone. It pays to have powerful friends, my dear Vespa, when one makes powerful enemies. You’ve demonstrated as much with the Mercurys. Allow me to shift the focus of our conversation, will you?” My coms beeped in my pocket and I grinned.

“You’ve got about two minutes before the cops get here. You can say whatever you want until then.”

“Hyperion City isn’t the safest place for you at the moment, is it? From the sound of things the Kanagawas are very upset with you. It sounds to me like you need to... disappear. And I happen to be an expert in disappearances. It could be so simple. You can leave Hyperion City behind; I’ll leave my powerful friends behind. We’ll sell the Mask and live a life of thrills and decadence across the Galaxy, never looking back on this horrid place or any of the horrid places of our past. We could have quite a time together, Vespa, don’t you think?. Who knows what kind of trouble we could cause?” Amirah grinned, something far in her eyes. The moment was cut short by a loud bang on my front door. I shook my head and answered the door, nodding to the entering officers.

“Ilkay. Guess I’m not so surprised to see you spending the night with a treasure thief.” One commented, nodding for the other to grab Glass.

“Yeah, yeah, happy to see you too, McCrory. Just be careful with this one, alright? She’s slippery.” I muttered, pouring myself another drink.

“Oh, come on. She can’t be that bad if you caught her.” McCrory joked, jabbing his partner in the side with his elbow, laughing. He took Glass’s other side, escorting her out. They paused for a moment and Amirah smiled.

“It could be quite an adventure.” She muttered, smile turning sharp.

“I’m sure it will be. Wish I could come along. I’ll be at the station in a minute.” I waved them off. The officers nodded and left, closing the door behind them.

She was gone. Her smell still lingered in the air- that perfume I could never place. A scent from some other planet, like nothing I’d ever smelled before. It’d take weeks to get that stink out.

I needed to clear my head a minute before I drove over. I poured myself another drink and that’s when I saw it. A little slip of paper, sticking up between the cushions. She must’ve written it when I had my back turned. 

_ Vespa, _

_ If you wish for one last glimpse of me, watch the public access feed for Route 782. Somewhere around Venus Street, I suspect... but no farther than Fibhur Drive. Get a good look, detective: it may be your last. I do hope it isn’t, though. I meant every word I said, Vespa. It will be quite an adventure. I’ll be waiting for you to join me. _

_ Signed, _

_ Your Better Half, _

_ Buddy Aurinko _

I cursed under my breath and pulled out my com, dialing rapidly and hoping he would answer. After the second ring it blipped and I laughed breathlessly. “Jet! I need you to get me a call with Cassandra Kanigawa. Now.” I barked

“The Dark Matters Woman?” Jet asked, confusion evident in his voice. I didn’t even know he could do that.

“Just- Just tell her to call me.” I snapped then hung up, setting my comms down hard on the counter. I cursed some more at that. I couldn’t wait. I had to know. I turned on my video monitor and flipped through the channels. “Come on, come on, god damn it, Aurinko, where the hell you?” I finally found the right channel. It was exactly where she said it would be. Route 782. The cop car was parked on the sidewalk. Sitting on the ground beside it, in nothing but their skin and I mean only their skin were the two cops who’d picked her up earlier. They were hog-tied, their mouths gagged, ties as pretty as every movement she made. And Aurinko was nowhere in sight. I checked my pocket. The key to my safe was gone. I laughed, something bitter and almost relieved. At least I knew I was right, she was just a thief with a pretty face and strawberry lips. And I would never see her again. My coms beeped and I picked up.

“Vespa!,” I was Cassandra, just great, “This line is confidential! If you needed me so badly, you should have had Agent Glass call! Where is she?”

“Wish I knew, Cass. Come on down sometime and I’ll tell you the whole story.”

“You’ll tell me the story now, Vespa. Vespa!” I hung up.

That’s how things go, in Hyperion City. One day, she’s your daughter; next day, she’s your killer. One minute, she’s your partner; the next minute... she’s gone. I drank until I couldn’t think anymore and then I passed out on the couch. Cassandra might have called a few times, but I didn’t answer. Couldn’t trust her. Couldn’t trust anyone just then. But when you get hurt by the big mean world, you lick your wounds, you start over. The world gets a little bigger, a l ittle meaner. Maybe you do, too. And in the meantime, sleep; sleep, and the smell of Buddy Aurinko in the air. It’d take weeks for that smell to fade. I’ve missed it ever since.


End file.
